Reclusive, Extrovert, Exclusive, Retrovert.

I was going to call this post ‘Weird Weekends’.
But I didn’t want to copy Mr Theroux.

Here’s my other post, which is little less joyful than the morning post.
I’ll keep it brief and print only.

I didn’t have ‘Weekends Off’ in my life for around 15-20 years whilst working in the hospitality and leisure sector from hotels, pubs, cafes, restaurants, to the wedding venue that I managed, its onsite accommodation, and larger outdoor events.
After a while, this becomes routine, and there are some benefits to having the days off in the week instead; off-peak shopping, weekday hairdressing appointments, weekday deliveries, visits from Traders/BT. Oh – who am I kidding… it was always pretty lame!

I’ve tried a couple of times to re-load ‘the Weekend’, without success. Work and Events always crept in, possibly willingly on my part, as when I finally took the time off, I remembered that to enjoy weekends, other people eventually have to figure in them, and whenever that didn’t happen with any consistency, it was all too easy to add more work back in.

I was more familiar with using my occasional actual weekends to spend time on my own, in my house and garden with Sami, my cat. This was my gold standard ‘Lockdown Life System’ already at work.

And then in 2020… Global Lockdown, Isolating, and Social Distancing?!

WHAT???
Is this verification that my way of living was correct in the first place?

I don’t think so. You get used to it, but it’s not good for the soul to disconnect like this.
I really enjoy spending time with people, I just find meeting people difficult.

The pubs re-open this weekend.
Whatever.
As if I’m going down the pub or to a restaurant on my own.

1 is not a good number to start socialising with, and if meeting up with friends isn’t an option, I’ll be less anxious and far happier having a meal and a drink at home, whilst on the phone to someone I actually already know. Or listening to music and talking to my cat.

I just ask one thing for now, as everyone adjusts to this ‘new normal’ program.
Don’t go on about your plans for the weekend; the pubs or restaurants you will visit with your family, or friends. The short breaks, long breaks, parties, gigs, walks, runs, boat trips, beach trips, BBQs or even B&Q trips; it’s all well and good, but for my fellow mental ill-health sufferers, depressives and those with other covid-risk health conditions or anxieties, stepping outside this summer may take a bit longer.

The good thing about even more time in this anti-social state is as per my morning run down, day by day my house is becoming more how I like it, and I am wading through the accumulated clutter of 10 years of largely single-living. Some of it will be ‘edited’ – but mostly I have not bought that much stuff, and its nice just putting everything in order, so that past and present make sense again. I like getting lost in memories and in the moment, it is more comforting than planning ahead for an uncertain future.

I think a lot of people will understand that more thanks to Covid & the Lockdown!

Whinge over.

T.G.L

(the Grateful Landlady)

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