Changes, and New Starts

Well here I am, on WordPress.

Who would’ve thought it?
Mind you, who would’ve thought the majority of the world would be in Lockdown, for fear of a tiny but terrible virus, namely the new coronavirus?

Discipline is not my forte, so this blog will be somewhat of a personal challenge.
We will see how it goes over time..

‘Hello there & Hi’!

I’m new to blogging, and I’m a Landlady, but not new to that, more of a seasoned amateur.

I’m very grateful too… for lots of things, or at least certainly trying very hard to be. It’s not always easy. However, something about a global pandemic makes you appreciate life and what you have in a different way.

This is also the start of some kind of new phase for me and I will explain why below, but first I’d like to share a favourite saying used by my Oma (German grandmother) in times of difficulty or despair with ‘the now’:

‘Tomorrow is the start of the next hundred years’

My Journey so far

About two years ago I was sort of on the cusp of what would end up being a total breakdown. I had just come back from a month travelling in South America, and to say I was struggling to adjust to being back home would be an understatement.
I was exhausted, felt disorientated in my own home to the extent that I couldn’t find a tea bag, and scared of many things – the fire alarm going off, the fridge breaking down, the house getting broken into whilst I slept, but above all, scared of leaving the house. A classic sign that the dreaded slide into anxiety and depression (which I was already very familiar with) was beginning.
I struggled on for a couple of months with enormous effort, which included having to get some renovation work done on a rental property that was between tenants, but above all just keeping my head above water.

And then, at the end of May 2018, the tenant moved in, my job was done, and I surrendered. I couldn’t return to the day job I had before my trip abroad – I wasn’t fit to work, and I wasn’t sure it would be good for me to go back anyway.
I needed a total break. Time to re-coup and re-assess.

I didn’t know at that point, but as it so often is, the anxiety and depression were in effect the start of a total nervous breakdown. The downwards spiral was fairly rapid, and within another month, I didn’t feel like myself anymore, I couldn’t even remember what myself felt like.
What followed was almost two years of disconnection from the real world. Sometimes life was very dark, sometimes just bleak, but all of the time – depressed, sedentary, uncommunicative, lost and without hope.

Moving On…

About a month or so ago, in February 2020, things started to shift.
Finally, little improvements to my daily life were possible again. More importantly, I started to feel more like ‘me’, and the combined sense of tremendous relief together with increasing positivity and hope has blossomed since then, just like the cherry tree in my garden, and the pear in my rental property.
A very long winter has come to a close and spring has finally arrived!

Thank you for reading… next post coming soon!

T.G.L

(the Grateful Landlady)